Attention my human subjects! It is I, Inky “the Magnificent,” here to get your sorry species in shape by showing you the true path to enlightenment through proper conditioning.
First, find a nice warm blanket. Next lie flat on your back upon said blanket. Drift off to sweet oblivion. Hold pose for six hours (experts will do so for longer). In the midst of your torpidity, you should achieve a level of repose such as I’m showing here.
Once reaching this “Tai-Chi” state, your forelimbs will make gentle concentric circles of their own volition. You reach the highest state if your hands dangle from your wrists. However, if you find your joints stiffening or “freezing in place” after being in this pose for a while, it probably means you’re dead and rigor mortis is setting in.
Thus concludes today’s class. Dismissed.
Your Omniscience,
‘Inky’